being kind to yourself in self-isolation
written by merissa gladys
For those of us who are currently practicing self-isolation, I hope you resonate with this piece.
What is it going to be today? Maybe you feel like you’re constantly on edge. Maybe it’s the opposite and you’re feeling frozen, stuck in time… limbo. Maybe you’re a mix of both… and you’re just feeling “off”. Well, same. You’re not alone.
I’m finding this self-isolation scenario as a special time to figure things out. But, along with that comes with the pressure to “actually figure things out”. Whether it’s figuring out how to feel… figuring out what to do… what to say… who to be….
With many of the conversations I’ve had with my friends and family, I found that we have been the most harshest and cruel to ourselves during this self-isolating period. In the end, we want “results”, whatever they might be.
I, too, was guilty of this. For the first couple weeks, I was absorbed by the “productivity mentality” when I wanted so badly to slow down. But I couldn’t bring myself to slowing down.
Instead, I decided to create an absurd daily routine, which didn’t seem unrealistic to me at the time despite my sleeping pattern of sleeping at 4am and waking up at noon. I was being so unkind to my mind and my body because I felt pressure to reach this unrealistic potential to show the world as soon as we come out of the pandemic.
I didn’t allow myself to adjust to these changing times. I didn’t listen to myself.
I didn’t allow myself to adjust to these changing times. I didn’t listen to myself. I was aimlessly going about my days from distraction to distraction, project to project, self-care idea to self-care idea and didn’t take any moment to truly check in with myself.
It took me a while to really understand why this method wasn’t working. Why I, amongst all my friends, was feeling trapped.
We have all this time, so why was it so hard to do the things we wanted to? Why were we dismissing the fact that we’re all experiencing a global pandemic in our own unique ways? Why was that easy to ignore?
I still don’t have the answers. But after much struggling, I scrapped the schedule I made, scrapped the list of projects and recipes I had ready, scrapped all the productivity apps I had downloaded.
I started fresh and focused on how I could put myself first. What did I need? What made me feel okay these days?
The one word I could think of when answering those questions was “nourishment”. How could I nourish my mind? My body? My spiritually? My creativity? How could I grow today? And that was my focus. Your body is your home and my focus was to come back to it. So, I started small and incorporated more water in my day for clearer thinking.
Over time, it was easier to remember there was no right or wrong way to go about my day and what experiences I am feeling. I just tried to incorporate some habits that nourished my being. Some of these habits included:
Drinking at least 2L of water a day.
Setting time to unplug from technology.
Spending an hour on any type of body exercise (whatever my body was physically feeling up for).
Time for some kind of creative outlet (singing, writing, drawing, reading, etc.).
Eat at least one nourishing meal or snack throughout the day.
Connecting with friends in the evening.
At the end of the day, what others do to find home is a personal discovery.
What others may be doing this time may not align with what you are doing and what you feel you are capable of or willing to do. And that is okay, because our past experiences shape today and we must respect that rather than turning to comparison.
This is your gentle reminder to check in with yourself today. Ask yourself what you might need. Think about how you can provide that for yourself today.
The list of ways we can be kind to ourselves this time around may look different to when things were so-called “normal”… or they may even overlap or be identical.
What’s more important is how we decide to be kind to ourselves each day and enacting it.
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about the author
Kumusta! (That’s “hello” in Tagalog). I’m Merissa Gladys Pena. The name “Merissa” means “of the sea” and I resonate with that ever so much. I’m a jill-of-all-trades and am always fact-checking and doin’ my research on everything. I mean… everything. Like, how bricks are made or what happens when a whale swallows a human. The arts bring out the best in me, so you’ll probably catch me googly-eyed over bullet journals, modern calligraphy and watercolours. I’m also a part-time plant momma, skin-care enthusiast, amateur crossword puzzle solver and semi-expert charcuterie board designer. Overall, I guess you can say I’m learning how to build emotional, physical and environmental sustainability in all that I do. Although that may take some time, I’m ready for this imperfect journey.
If you’re interested in checking out the musings of my life, join along at @merissagladys on Instagram. Until we cross paths again, cheers!
