7 habits we're leaving in 2019
written by Jasmine Irven; collaborators for post linked below
2020 is almost here! Not only is this a new year but a new decade, and I know you’re ready to up-level. While I always advocate for starting now rather than waiting for the *perfect opportunity *, I do love the fresh start a new year presents to all of us looking to step into our higher selves – whether that’s through curating new habits, mindset shifts, goal-setting, or more intentional routines.
p.s. if you aren’t sure what habits you should shift, I’ve included some exercises and prompts to help you clarify this below!
I recently asked some members of our community what habits they’re looking to leave in 2019, and created this post based on what they shared. If you’ve been feeling stuck or feel like you’re ready to shed a layer of unwanted habits to make room for those that closer embody the person you want to become moving forward, this post is for you! I hope you can truly relate to these, and find a source of inspiration + connection in the content below.
I’d also encourage you to share a habit you’re hoping to leave in 2019 in the comments below so we can all move forward together!
“never enough-ing”
I do something that I like to call “never enough-ing.” As you can probably imply, it’s a state of mind that inhibits you from seeing all the wonderful things you’ve accomplished, and instead, only allows you to see all the things you haven’t done (or should have done, or didn’t do well enough). It’s something I picked-up very early-on in life and has progressed alongside my other habits as a perfectionist. I’m leaving my “never enough-ing” mind-traps in 2019 and am learning to celebrate myself and all my accomplishments (big and small) in 2020!
Celebrating small victories is an important habit to cultivate, but it’s not a simple task. It’s crucial to first notice the exact moment you begin “never enough-ing,” and replace it with a healthy, more accurate thought or affirmation. For example, if you tell yourself you’re human garbage because you didn’t go to the gym today, notice that you’re “never enough-ing” and, instead, remind yourself that you went to the gym yesterday and can go again later this week. Tell yourself that it’s okay to have a day of rest; that you’re working towards a goal of self-improvement and the last thing you need is to cultivate unhealthy mental habits during the process. It might also help to have a list of affirmations you can turn to like, “this feeling isn’t serving me” or “I can choose what to think and feel no matter what happens.” If you’re like me, you may have to go through this cycle multiple (like 20+) times a day, but the more you notice it, the easier it becomes to change.
Remember, this practice is to simply notice what’s going on in your mind, it’s not an invitation for self-judgement; be kind and patient with yourself always. So, here’s to celebrating all that you are, all that you’ve done, and all you will accomplish in the new decade and beyond.
With love,
Alisha Hunter | author of Just Peachy Positivity | @justpeachypositivity
looking for the easy way out
I’m guilty of this. Guilty of wanting quick and fast solutions (a manner I took up from my time in school), and expecting immediate results when I perfectly know this attitude will lead me nowhere. This ties well into my personality considering I am super impatient at times. To paint a picture for you, I’ll start with the small aspects of my life. One being how my laziness gets the best of me. This goes for when I personally choose to not bring my tumbler or container for my coffee and lunch order, or mindlessly forget my reusable grocery bags at home, or I grab that plastic straw when I can bring my own (which I chose to leave at home).
On a more serious note, I also tend to rush myself with personal projects such as my writing or when I’m editing a video due to my lack of patience. I sometimes skip the pre-process of brainstorming (I am a girl scout too - I love lists and preparing), and dive straight into it. If you’re a creative person, you’ll understand what I mean. I remind myself constantly to never rush, and to truly dedicate all of myself and give my 100% in all that I do which goes for my personal work, and lifestyle.
Ann Villegas | author of annvillegas.com | @annvllgs
putting things off for later
I have so many excuses as to why I put things off for later, but thinking about it now, they don’t matter. I’m literally only making excuses for myself, and further hinder my presumed potential. It also doesn’t help that I am insecure and overthink WAY too much on the daily. This usually leads to me spending so much of my time worrying when I could be using that time to be efficient in getting stuff done. Going back to my first habit, I prioritize tasks that are at the bottom of my list because I know they are the easiest and quickest to do so I do them first. This is so unhealthy on many levels. Not only am I avoiding the bigger and more important tasks, I am running away from hard work. This only leads to my self-loathing and feeling discouraged all the time when I could be my best-self; so from the beginning, I remind myself to be disciplined and act on things from the get-go.
I’ll definitely be working on this mindset for the new year, which I’m off to a good start (by the way). I meditate now, and do self-affirmations in the morning and before bed most of the time. I try my best to block out all my fears and the negative voices that stop me from being the best version of myself. As long I am trying then I am enough.
Ann Villegas | author of annvillegas.com | @annvllgs
mindless scrolling
Finding a healthy balance of social media usage for 2020 - meaning being able to use these applications in moderation. Not having to completely log-out of Instagram, but training myself to know when to stop. I want to associate a positive mindset with social media (Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat). If this isn’t the case, I want to take a break from it by spending less time on it or logging out of my accounts. I find it very refreshing to be disconnected from social media and think it’s extremely important to be in the right mindset while using it.
mindless consumerism
I want to be more aware of the value my ‘dollar’ has. Spending my money on companies that reflect my values and morals is something I want to do more in 2020. I find that these products are often better quality, last longer, and are more ethical.
binge watching television
A habit I’m looking to leave behind in 2019 is the routine of binge watching TV in the evenings. I found myself getting caught up in the nightly TV watching for a period of time more than once this year. Don’t get me wrong I love a good movie or a day of binge watching coziness once in awhile, but for 2020, I want it to be even more of a rare occurrence.
In place of this habit, I am looking to fill my time with activities that light me up. To help me achieve and stick to this I’m working to create a dream board to look at for inspiration. This is where I plan to look when I feel like moving to the couch for comfort. There will be written and drawn out ideas for better uses of my time, including; hula hooping, practicing Spanish, yoga, dance, playing with recipes, reading, meditation, colouring and more. I’d love any other suggestions for soul lifting ways that you like to fill your time.
I hope that if this resonates with you, you’ll connect with me so we can encourage each other to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be this year.
Wishing you the best,
saying yes out of guilt
I absolutely love reflecting on the past year and getting clear about how I want to move forward. When I did my reflection this year I was really proud of how much I explored new passions and projects. 2019 was truly a year of starting amidst the hesitation. However, because so much of what I was doing was new, it meant that there was still a lot of fear around what others would think. And so, I would often sacrifice my own plans with myself to do things for others – often out of guilt, and would end up with feelings of resentment, unaccomplished goals, and moments of disappointment due to falling into old habits (staying up late, eating crappy food, drinking too much, etc.).
While I never want to isolate myself, I also have a lot more clarity around the life I want to lead and the person I want to become. That person advocates for themselves and stays true to their beliefs, they keep appointments with themselves as if they were appointments with others, and they create space for the things they truly value in life. With this shift is going to come more sacrifice, more saying no to people/ things/ mindsets that don’t serve me, and more time spent getting clear with the life I want to lead.
To begin this process I’m going to start planning out my days more consistently in my calendar, focusing on the 3 main goals I want to complete for the day. I am going to allow space for the unexpected and incorporate time for human connection, but in general I am going to be saying no to a lot more externally, to say yes to myself + my inner growth more.
jasmine irven | founder of sustainable bliss collective | @sustainableblissco
reflection + implementation
Take what resonates and leave the rest. It’s impossible to make every change you want to make in your life simultaneously. The idea behind Sustainable Bliss is to curate intentional habits + routines that are small but sustainable - meaning you keep up with them and aren’t overwhelmed by them.
This list from our contributors is diverse - as it should be! Everyone is in a different place in their life and is working on different things. Focus on finding something that really resonates with you and that would make the biggest impact in the season of life you are currently in.
No one needs a laundry list of things they aren’t doing so instead of seeing this post as that, pick 1-2 that really resonate with you (or journal on your own using the prompts below) and then determine a couple ways you can begin implementing them today.
Consider WHY you want to shift the habit, why the current habit is holding you back (i.e. maybe it’s bringing you more stress), and what the new habit will bring into your life instead (i.e. maybe less time on social media = more freedom for a hobby you’ve been neglecting). Then consider what you can start doing TODAY to begin moving closer to developing the habit.
exercises + journal prompts for clarity
If you aren’t sure what habits you should really focus on shifting, here are a few exercises and prompts to help:
Future vs. current self: I’m working on writing a whole post about this exercise but essentially I want you to journal about the differences between the person you are and who you’d like to become, and find little habits you’d like to shift in that comparison.
Goal-setting: such an important practise (in my mind) for truly envisioning what your dream life looks like and making sustainable + focused goals you can action today to bring you closer to your dream life.
Consider: what do you want to bring more of into your life in 2020? What 3 words do you want to embody in 2020 (creativity, determination, focus, etc.)
What areas of focus need more support in 2020 (finance, self-care, relationships, etc.)?
What do you feel held you back in 2019? How can you look at shifting this?
get involved
I’m looking to make Sustainable Bliss a super collaborative community where we can all share insights, and cultivate supportive relationships with others interested in the same content as us. Looking to get involved? Fill out this form!
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