you are a badass by jen sincero: key tips & takeaways
written by Jasmine Irven
introduction
From amazon, “You Are a Badass will help you: identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that stop you from getting what you want, blast past your fears so you can take big exciting risks, figure out how to make some damn money already, learn to love yourself and others, set big goals and reach them - it will basically show you how to create a life you totally love, and how to create it NOW.”
This is a short read, and honestly in the short number of pages does justice to the above description. Self-help books can sometimes seem a little cheesy or a little woo woo, and this book definitely is those things, but Sincero’s recognition of this right from the beginning of the book is refreshing, as is her witty attitude throughout.
I’ve captured my key tips and takeaways from the book below, and hope they’re a helpful resource for you if you’re looking to up-level your life and reclaim some power. And, if these takeaways do inspire you, I’d definitely recommend reading the book in its entirety.
part one: how you got to be the way you are
subconscious vs. conscious mind
Part one of the book discusses how we got to be the way we are now, mainly by discussing our conscious and subconscious minds. Our conscious mind is that which we’re generally aware of: it’s the active part which is always running, spinning from thought to thought throughout the day.
Our subconscious mind is non-analytical; it’s about feelings and instincts and believes everything because it has no filter.
Our subconscious takes in information from those surrounding us; through smiles and frowns, what people say, etc. Unfortunately, as well, it receives much of our information when we’re little kids and begins forming beliefs before the conscious part of our brain is even fully developed.
This information forms the basis of our thoughts and belief patterns. It’s the reason we likely have issues with money or relationships or self-esteem, because there are some subconscious beliefs stored about these things, formed over the years (money = greed, relationships = unhappiness, etc.).
When you start uncovering these, you’re able to begin rewriting some of these stories and beliefs into thought processes that serve you and the life you want to live better.
your vibration
The universe is made of energy, and we need to learn how to align ourselves more with this energy. All energy vibrates at a certain frequency, which means you’re vibrating at a certain frequency, and everything you desire and don’t desire, is also vibrating at a certain frequency.
Otherwise known as the law of attraction, the basic idea is: focus on that which makes you feel good and you’ll attract more good. Focus on the negative, and you’ll begin attracting things you don’t desire. If you’re feeling totally lost right now, or like things keep “happening to you,” it’s likely that you need to shift your energy.
Have you ever felt “in flow”? Like you’re vibrating at a high frequency? Like everything is flowing towards you? We want to dip into this energy wavelength as often as possible.
Ask yourself what you were doing when you felt this way. What could you do today to bring yourself up? Become more aware that everything you want is available to you, you just need to let the universe know you’re ready to receive it.
We curated a list of 19 things you can do to raise your vibration, if you’re looking for more help in this area.
ego
Your ego is likely also partly to blame for where you are right now. Your ego is your shadow self. It operates according to your limiting false beliefs (like those stored in our subconscious). It’s fear based, and committed to keeping you in your comfort zone - even when that comfort zone isn’t doing us any favours.
Growth doesn’t happen in our comfort zone, so we need to learn how to keep pushing despite attempts from our ego to hold us back.
“[Your ego] will do everything it can to stop you from changing and growing, especially since you’re attempting to obliterate the very identity that you and everyone else has come to know as “you”... Have faith. Trust that your new life is already here and is far better than the old. Hang tight if [your ego] pitches a fit. Whatever happens, stay the course, because there’s nothing cooler than watching your entire reality shift into one that is the perfect expression of you.”
Jen Sincero
part two: how to embrace your inner badass
love who you are
This is one I struggle with a lot, and if you identify at all as a people pleaser or an overachiever, you might be right here with me.
Sincero talks about how when we’re born, we already know how to trust our instincts. How to eat only when we’re hungry. How to not care about what others think. We know how to play and create and love.
But then, as we grow up and start to learn from others around us, we begin to unlearn these things, and instead replace these instincts with fear, shame, and self-doubt.
If instead, we can reconnect with who we are, and start re-learning what it is we love and desire in this life, we can start to come more into our own.
We can stop caring what others think of us (unless it is honest feedback from those who genuinely know us well and care about us, and that we could benefit from). And we can start living a more authentic life.
Tips for loving yourself (from the book):
Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s not your business what others are doing. All that matters is that you are pleased with what you’re doing.
Do not spend your life clinging to the insulting decisions you’ve made about yourself. Instead, make the conscious choice to replace them with new and improved ones.
Do things you love: really listen to how you speak and pay attention to what you do, and make a conscious effort to increase your joy in whatever capacity you can.
Appreciate how special you are and drown yourself in affirmations you need to hear.
Always do your best: if you do the absolute best you possibly can, and come from a place of integrity, then you can be proud of yourself.
figure out what you’re doing here
Another way Sincero writes that we can tap into our inner badass is by determining what makes us unique; what we’re doing here on this earth.
All of us are born with unique and valuable gifts, and when we share what we were brought here to give and do, we are in alignment with our highest self.
If you know what these gifts are, amazing. Stop doubting yourself and take the first step. Get out of your head and let the path reveal itself.
If you don’t, start to follow your intuition. Get curious. Lean into what interests you, what feels good. Start taking small steps and following what happens. Pay attention to suggestions and opportunities that present themselves.
Don’t worry about figuring it out right away. Just start.
part three: how to tap in
Part 3 of the book discusses how we can further tap into the energy of the universe, our intuition, and our inner badass. Below are a few of her suggestions.
Meditation: meditation allows you to quiet your mind so you can listen to your inner guidance. It raises our frequency, relaxes us, relieves stress, brings us into the present moment, and helps us to hear ourselves more clearly.
Shifting your thoughts: our realities are created through our thoughts, so if we want to change our reality we need to change our thoughts and beliefs. Make a vision board and fill your mind with the things and experiences you want to manifest, shift your environment to let the universe know you’re ready for change, and surround yourself with people who think the way you want to think - people who act on their big ideas and take action.
“Just see what you can get away with.” In line with ideas around curiosity, this means leaning into the mentality of “why not?” Look at things as an experiment rather than a commitment. It takes the pressure off!
Give: your time, your money, a smile, a laugh. “Giving is one of our greatest joys. When we trust that we live in an abundant universe and allow ourselves to give freely, we raise our frequency, strengthen our faith, and feel awesome, thereby putting ourselves in flow and the position to receive abundant amounts in return.”
Gratitude: truly being in a state of gratitude is about having an appreciation for all the miracles in your life. And never be mistaken, there are always things you can be grateful for. When you’re in this state you’re raising your vibration, sending our positive energy, and allowing positive energy to reflect back right to you.
Joy: remember that time spent enjoying yourself is never wasted.
part four: how to get over your B.S
procrastination and perfection
These are terms you’re likely very aware of, and maybe have fallen prey to (guilty) in the past, particularly when going after some of your bigger goals that require stepping out of your comfort zone.
Instead of being focused on getting things “perfect”, take peace in knowing that nothing is ever perfect. Just take a small step in the direction you want to go, and commit to learning and adapting along the way.
Yes, it’s easier to stay where you’re at, but that’s not where growth happens. Once you start working, you’ll pick up momentum and it may even be more challenging to stop.
Quick tip: notice where you stop: when you’re working, where do you stop? If you can pinpoint the moment you stop, you can prepare yourself by hiring coaches, assistants, delegating, removing distractions, etc.
fear
Fear will always be there, but we can make the conscious choice whether or not we’ll let it impact us.
“Fear lives in the future. The feeling of being afraid is real, but the fear itself is all made up because it hasn’t happened yet.”
Jen Sincero
Tips:
Be in the moment. Stop thinking about the future and instead focus on the present.
“View fear from your rear view mirror - no matter how intimidating your next great leap forward seems at the moment, it will be small when you look back at it someday. So why wait?”
Be more conscious of the information you absorb. What shows/ blogs/ social media do you absorb? Whose opinion do you ask? “This isn’t about being out of touch with the world, it’s about how much info you really need.”
love life
Lean into the things you love and enjoy. Focus on living the life you have and soaking these things up while you have the opportunity.
If it’s something you want to do, don’t wait until you’re less busy or richer or ready. Start right now. You’ll never be this young again.
If it’s the people you love, visit them as often as possible. If they bug you sometimes, love them anyway. If you’ve got differences, get over them. Don’t get so tangled up in the stupid little stuff that you miss out on enjoying the people who have part-ownership of your heart.
If you’re not where you want to be in life, keep going. Treat yourself like you’re the closest friend you’ve got. Celebrate who you are. DOn’t let anyone mess with you and your dreams, least of all yourself.
Jen Sincero
part five: how to kick ass
Make the decision: when you make a decision, you sign up to keep moving forward regardless of what’s in your path. You do whatever it takes, because you’ve decided. The only failure is quitting. Stop standing in indecision and resolve to commit.
Take action: each time you grow, it’s uncomfortable because you’re learning something new. But continue to move forward. Breathe. Set goals for yourself that are realistic. Get clear on your vision. Hang out with people who you aspire to be. Take care of your body. Get in the zone and take action.
Give yourself the permission and the means to be who you are regardless of what anyone else thinks or believes is possible.
Do not deny yourself the life you want to live because you’re worried you’re not good enough or that you’ll be judged or that it’s too risky, because who does that benefit? No one.
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about the author
Hey there! I’m Jasmine, founder of the Sustainable Bliss Collective, a Certified Meditation Teacher, and lover of all things self-care, slow-living, and personal development.
I believe that ambition and self-care can coexist, and as such I hope to encourage and inspire you to take care of yourself, breathe deeply, connect with who you are, manifest your dreams, enjoy the blissful moments of each day, and make an impact in this beautiful world we call home.
Connect with me on Instagram here!
